Damn You, Autocorrect!

I received a text from my older daughter Kristin that read, “Woot! Congress!”  Even though I was at that small window of
opportunity to dry my hair and make it look half-way presentable, I ran
downstairs and turned on CNN waiting with bated breath to see what Congress had
actually done. Nothing. There was nothing about Congress being bold on the
news.  I checked the news on my laptop.
Nothing.  So I called Kristy. “What did
Congress do?” I asked. She laughed and said, “Nothing. I meant to say, “Woot! Congrats! to
Kate (my younger daughter) on receiving her diploma. I sent it out to you and Matt
(my son), too. It was autocorrect.” We had a great laugh over that, and now the phrase has
become our family shout-out.  When I told
the kids Love’s Spirit would be
published in April, I got a “Woot! Congress!” text. 

A couple
of weeks later, I had somehow set my new phone to autocorrect and I didn’t realize
it. I texted Kate about a hockey game we had invited her and her husband Todd
to, but when I typed Saginaw Spirit Hockey it suddenly said, “Vagina Spirit.” What?? I
deleted and typed again. Same thing – “Vagina Spirit.”  My husband Rich and I laughed so hard we couldn’t stop.   I knew Kate was in rehearsal with the PigeonCreek Shakespeare Company that night, so instead of texting, I called her and
left a message explaining what happened with the text… she played the message for
the whole cast and they loved it.  I was just
a bit embarrassed. Anyway, all of this inspired me to write the following
(please note that it is in very rough draft form):

You, Autocorrect

Damn you,

You’ve done it once

Life was so much
easier when I

Just wrote in pen.

Damn you,

I need a glass of
wine, a

mention of a hockey

Made “Saginaw”

Damn you,

You may seem very

My daughter said, “Congratulations”

Instead you said,
“Woot! Congress.”

Damn you,

You ruin people’s

I get so nervous
when I type

I start to get the

Okay, Autocorrect

I accept

For when I don’t self-edit

You lead me to

what is your autocorrect story?

4 thoughts on “Damn You, Autocorrect!

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