Learning to Surrender

Recently the Universe seems to be sending me a
message about surrender. Several areas of my life have merged in a
synchronistic way to relay this very message to my heart and soul.
Sometimes surrender comes quietly. The first area I
noticed it was in my prayer chair where I meditate each morning. As anyone who
attempts meditation understands, often my mind whirls about above my head like
a remote control airplane popular at mall kiosks this time of year. I have to
rein it in by concentrating on my breath or focusing on a mantra. The word “surrender”
floated to my consciousness and using it, I settled into a deeper level of
contemplation. Using my “surrender” mantra helps me to relax physically,
emotionally and spiritually; it almost feels like becoming limp or floating buoyantly
on the water. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my airplane continues to hover at times,
but this mantra seems to ground and calm me.
Sometimes surrender comes fiercely. Just before
Halloween my back went out on me—muscle spasms that paralyze making it impossible
for me to move. I spent a full day on the floor of our upstairs hall where my
beloved husband Rich brought me ice packs, helped me when I had to crawl to the
bathroom, and cut up my food so I could eat it. The only way I could get up and
down was to allow Rich to fully support my weight; I had to totally surrender
control to him and trust him unconditionally. My trust was well placed as I
knew it would be.
Sometimes surrender comes furtively. The day after
Thanksgiving my email was hacked. We were visiting our daughter and son-in-law
in another city, so I did not have access to my financial information. I wasn’t
sure if the hackers had accessed any personal information beyond my email and I
felt vulnerable and invaded. Rich and my daughter Kate helped me try to
remember all the accounts I needed to change passwords for as a precaution. I
had to surrender control of the situation—there was nothing more I could do. As
a control freak, that was very difficult.

When I was young, I thought that when I “grew up” I
would be completely formed, that I would know everything, that I would have “arrived”.
Au contraire. The Universe continually gifts me with lessons to learn.  It’s not always easy, but it is what makes me
alive and makes me a better person.
What messages has the Universe been sending you lately? Not sure? Sometimes we just have to look at ideas, themes, images that seem to recur in our lives. I’d love to hear about what you are learning.

8 thoughts on “Learning to Surrender

  1. It's hard to know what else to say besides "wow," Betty. What a month you've had–guess it's actually been a little longer than a month, hasn't it? Life does like to hand us surprises now and then, doesn't it? I come from a long line of control freaks myself, so I can relate to how disconcerting that would all be. Which means I have a few lessons to learn in that area as well, I suppose. Hang in there! 🙂

    • Thanks for your kind words, Christine 🙂 Yes, if you are a control freak, too, you totally get it. But many wonderful things have come out of all this, too, not the least of which is learning to be more patient with myself. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Betty, you are a joy, and I'm so sorry life dealt you some blows. My thoughts are with you and your family, and I hope this holiday season – and the New Year – will bring much healing, happiness, and good fortune. Big hugs! <3

    • Deborah, as my Sweet Baboo always says, "in light of the Kingdom, does this matter?" And I guess my take-away is that as long as I can learn something from an adverse situation! it's all good. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

  3. What an insightful post, Betty. You are so right, life will continue to throw curve balls at us and what we do with them determines how they affect us. I have a carer who is the bane of my life. I can be calmly congratulating myself on how unmoved I am by her behaviors when she will do something which brings up reactive behaviors from me. My friends get angry that I keep her but I know she is a great teacher for me to learn acceptance and surrender…such a gift. Your response to all the challenges in the last little while are admirable and I'll bet you feel more peaceful too.

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