Okay, today I’m going to talk about fears because, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been pretty afraid lately.
Spiders. Full stop. Now while this might seem like an ordinary fear, let me explain why I’m so freaked out by spiders. When I was sixteen, my parents took me along on a vacation in the Catskill Mountains in New York State. I shared a room with Eileen, the ten-year-old daughter of my parents’ friends. She went to bed early, and her mother left the light on for me. When I opened the door to the bedroom, the walls and ceiling were filled with spiders—all shapes, sizes, and colors. And there was Eileen asleep in the midst of them. That image is seared in my brain. I calmly went and told Mom, and when we got back to the room, I dissolved into hysteria. I did.
As if that weren’t enough, when I lived at Yuma Proving Ground, Yuma AZ, we came home from a party and there was a tarantula larger than my outstretched hand on the window. So, my fear is based on two terrifying experiences.
Mice. My description at the beginning of The Cavanaugh House when Jesse describes the mice in the house is my worst nightmare. I actually shook as I wrote that scene. I had to get up from my laptop and walk around the room midway through so I could finish writing it. My experience? A person I lived with owned pet white mice and kept them in an aquarium tank (sans water, of course). One of them continually escaped, and one night at dinner time when I pulled out the pan drawer below the oven, that mouse jumped out at me. Seriously, to this day, when I pull out the pan drawer, I shake a little.
Heights. For sure. I was on a flume ride at our local amusement park with some high school friends. Just as we reached the peak to go over the drop, my friend Donna reached across to grab the handlebar beside me. That’s when my seatbelt broke, and Donna’s arm saved my life.
Pandemics. I had experiences that either initiated or intensified my fears. But what about today? I’ve had no experience with a pandemic. But Covid19 scares me a lot. It’s not just what could happen to me, but what might happen to my loved ones. People who discount it say it’s like the flu, but it’s much deadlier. And my actions could cause the serious illness or even death of someone I love.
Spiders will spin and mice will scurry. Heights will always soar. These will not go away, and I need to deal with them however I can. But Covid19 is not going away for a while, so I will deal with it as best I can. I’m fortunate to work from home, and I plan to stay home as much as possible, wash my hands frequently, and wear a face mask when I go out…which is seldom. Because it’s not just about my health, but it’s about your health, too.
I’ll be happy when all I’m afraid of is spiders, mice, and heights. What are you afraid of?
OMG, Elizabeth, the spider incident would ruin me for life–and I happen to like spiders! Not that I would want one crawling around on me, or on my walls, but that incident is like one out of a horror movie!
My fears? I’m afraid of the ocean, and the few cruises I took in my life were not very pleasant. I fear drowning, and am convinced I am either destined to die that way or have died that way in a former existence. I also don’t swim well, so that doesn’t help…
Thanks for sharing!
Oh, Claire, I remember my first cruise – I was afraid, too. But I try not to think about being so far from land and I’ve come to love cruising. Of course, I may never cruise again after the pandemic and what happened to so many passengers. I think we carry fears from previous lives, so I would agree with you on that one.
You hit my biggies: spiders, mice, & heights. In my teens, my folks had a cabin cruiser. I hated the first time it was taken out of storage–filled with spiders. After exhaustive cleaning, we had to sleep there. You can only clean so much and those buggers were prolific. Shudder.
Re: COVID. Yeah, I’m real scared of that. Mice, spiders, and heights are visible. COVID not so. I’m scared of all those people who don’t wear masks and assemble in large groups. Who will suffer for their negligence? Will I or my loved ones come in contact with them? Will COVID hit my family despite our precautions? Aside from getting my hair cut (yay!), I’ve only been to the doctors’, dentist, & curbside pickup at Meijer’s. Who wants to chance anything else? BTW, the hair salon had super safety protocols in place.
I know our fears are real and justified. We can only do our best to avoid them and deal with the anxiety. Hang in there, Betty. Hugs.
You’ve been much braver than I, Diane. I cancelled my dentist appointment because I was so uncomfortable. They were vey nice about it and said they completely understood. I’m almost more comfortable with a hair appointment where I’m not sitting there with my mouth wide open for half and hour.